Thursday, May 11, 2017

Endings & Beginnings

I've been trying to write this post for days & every time I do, I get teary-eyed & it's hard to cry & type at the same time! Also, I know I can't do the kind of writing this space deserves - but, don't care, I need to write it, so here's to imperfect writing (which is the majority of this blog - duh!) & giving honor to the people & memories that matter.

Last week, I lost my godmother & a few days later got to see my goddaughter celebrate her first communion.

My godmother would have loved this. 

She was 95, a devout Catholic, loved crafting (all kinds), shopping via catalogs, & was one of my biggest cheerleaders (always!).

She & my godfather had their home stocked with the best junk food whenever my brother & I visited. They had an epic Lego collection & Battleship which my brother always beat me at & I always accused him of cheating - there's truth somewhere in the middle there. She also let me eat only biscuits for dinner (because I was picky) & even let me take the leftovers home! 

They bought us new coats every year. It was Florida, but it was so much fun getting new coats!

They were there for every holiday, birthday, or event that mattered. I believe they have had long lives because of their never ending kindness. They are good people, great people to the core.

My godmother never judged me. How many people do we have in our lives we can say that about? 

I don't have one unhappy memory of her. 

When I was 8-years-old & this nonsense started, she didn't try to shame me or scare it out of me, she told me "I think my friend has a problem...". Or something to that extent & I knew I was OK with her, could talk about it if I wanted to, or not talk about it all (pretty sure I erred on not talking about it at all). 

She loved me for who I was - all defects & flaws.

She was a religious person & had high ideals, but she was also down to earth & worked hard to help others who were less fortunate. She kept change in her car to give to any homeless person she encountered. She & my godfather volunteered their time & resources at Daystar (in St. Petersburg, FL) for years.

She was a Parent.

When I was in my 20's & attending retreats, I was asked to give a talk call "God Experience." I was stumped about what to talk about until I realized all I had to do was talk about my godparents & the impact they've had on my life. 

I am beyond lucky. 

I can only hope to give the kids in my life the same kindness & love they've always bestowed upon me. I have big shoes to fill, need to keep the junk food stocked, build a Lego collection, get Battleship (& beat my brother at it - she would love that too) & remember that leftover biscuits are love - true love!

Love you, Mrs. Schoen (you too Mr. Schoen) - forever & always!


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